Sunday, November 15, 2015
This blog is a self diary of sorts, one that I look back on and recall stories of my life book. Although this is ultimately a personal blog, I find myself questioning the topics I share on it. Many times I've felt inclined to share thoughts that I feel strongly about, only to wonder how someone might react toward what I've written. Do I place more confidence in the approval of others than I do in myself? Many times I do, or at least I want the outside world to think that I do. But in the honesty of my heart I am passionate about my beliefs and my values and my opinions. Many times those insecurities have kept me from presenting the person I see myself to be. Many times I've found myself conforming to the ideals of others while knowing inside that I would do it very differently if only I didn't rely on the validity of others.
But I'm finding it now... the audacity to be bold in my thoughts and beliefs.
The daring nature of telling people my feelings rather than keeping them shoved down deep inside, which is what I've done my entire life. Doing so has also meant being a lot more frank and up front with people. Friends and family members are seeing someone they've never known before. A side of me that is foreign to them. A side of me that isn't always liked by them. And because these pieces are so foreign at times it's caused uneasiness and conflict, which isn't a bad thing, yet it's something that is taking time to adjust to.