I survived
raising toddlers. I kept my sanity while raising teenage daughters (although I
vividly remember thinking that I may not). Now I’m the parent of two grown
children and a grandmother. I’ve reached
“another stage” of my life. It’s easy sailing from here on out right? That’s
what it says on the magazine covers posted in the checkout line at our local super
center – not a care in the world.
I hate to
spoil the ending for those who haven’t gotten to this chapter but there are still rough seas ahead. Believe me, there are days when I can
actually feel the wind on my face as I sail into the sunset -- and then there are
days when I am an all out crazy woman.
Maybe it’s hormones but I don’t think so. Ok, maybe hormones play a
small role in the craziness but whatever it is, it can get ugly. Quickly.
Do any of these sound familiar?
* Unanswered
questions
*Pounds
gained
*Doubting
myself
*Hurtful
words I wish I could take back
*Dr.
appointments – more unanswered questions
*Tired….Tired…Tired
I would love
to tell you that I stay calm and smile and don’t hurt the people I love the
most. I would love to say that I “take
the high road” in the heat of an argument and I don’t allow myself to gather
emotional baggage. But there are days when my attitude in nothing short of
hideous. When those ugly days take place I carry the guilt and the yucky
feelings that come along with it. I vow that I will do better tomorrow. I vow I
will not let my mind fall into that
pit of negativity because that’s exactly where Satan wants me to be. Satan
wants me to be ugly and pessimistic and gloomy so he can attack me when I’m
down. And that’s when I go to God and say Lord
forgive me for having an ugly attitude. I’m struggling. I need you Lord. That
is when I PRAISE GOD. Praise may be the furthest thing from my mind when I’m
struggling or angry or when I want answers and there simply are no answers. God
always
stays with me even when it would easy to walk away from my ugly
attitude. Instead His grace challenges me to learn from my experience and
establish a stronger understanding that HE is there for me in spite of my mess.
I can’t guarantee
that my attitude will be positive all the time but I do know that each day I make better choices with my actions and my reactions. The good thing is – these
ugly days are fewer and farther between. Praise the Lord!
Hello, my beautiful friend!! I was perusing my past blogs and came across yours once again! I have been feeling the need to pour my unedited thoughts out somewhere other than on Facebook. It's come to my attention lately Social Networking my feelings isn't always "appropriate" on a venue like Facebook. A blog is a much safer place to tuck the ramblings of my heart. I just wanted to write an encourage you to continue being real and to continue seeking God's face with your whole heart. I love you girl!!
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