My REAL Journey

I’m participating in Melissa Taylor’s online Bible study of Lysa Terdeurst’s book Unglued; Making Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. After reading the first few pages I felt like someone had been watching me on a hidden camera. I have emotion oozing out my pores. I’m passionate about things – my children, my grandchildren, my husband, my family. I’m also a control freak. I like to have a plan and when that plan has a bump in the road, I tend to react and not always in a positive manner. I can relate to what Lysa says about vowing to do better. I sit and replay my day and tell myself that ‘next time’ I’ll handle it differently. “Next time” I won’t use hurtful words. “Next time” I’ll be more patient. “Next time”……. Praying for patience one minute and then becoming so frustrated with my husband because I had to repeat what I said 3 times. And the regret – oh the regret. It always comes. Some days it’s as if the voice I hear coming from my mouth is coming from a stranger. It’s a constant battle to control my emotions but in truth, some days my emotions control me. I know that emotions can be wonderful at times and destructive at times. It’s those raw, ugly emotions that can destroy and wear down the relationships that I’ve built my entire life developing. In the book, Lysa talks of imperfect progress – slow step by step progress toward change. I don’t have to get it right every time, but I’ll keep working on it… baby steps. J